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Mental Wellbeing

How to Get Unstuck: A Psychologist's Guide to Moving Forward

Feeling stuck in life, work, or your emotions? Learn psychology-backed strategies to help you get unstuck and move toward personal growth, with actionable steps and a book recommendation to guide your journey.

WRITTEN BY

Aidan Murphy

ON

Jul 1, 2025

Woman in white shirt sits at a table, holding her head in frustration, in front of a laptop. Bright window in the background.

Understanding the Feeling of Being Stuck

We all feel stuck at some point in our lives. Maybe it's a job you no longer enjoy, a relationship that feels stagnant, or simply the sense that you're spinning your wheels emotionally. Feeling stuck is not uncommon, and from a psychological perspective, it's often a sign that something within us wants to shift—but doesn't yet know how.


At VMA Psych, we work with individuals across Ontario who are navigating emotional roadblocks, burnout, indecision, or apathy. The good news is that feeling stuck isn't a permanent state. With the right tools and guidance, you can move forward.



Why Do We Get Stuck?

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Feeling stuck is often a symptom of deeper emotional or cognitive challenges. Here are some of the most common psychological reasons people get stuck:


  1. Fear of Change: Change involves risk, uncertainty, and stepping into the unknown. Even when we're unhappy, familiar discomfort can feel safer than unfamiliar opportunity.


  1. Overwhelm: When life feels like too much to manage, our brains can default into a freeze state. This biological response is meant to protect us from perceived threats, but can lead to inertia in everyday life.


  1. Perfectionism: When people believe they must do things perfectly or not at all, they often avoid starting. The fear of making a mistake keeps them from taking action.


  1. Unprocessed Emotions: Avoiding or suppressing difficult emotions such as grief, shame, anger, or fear can lead to emotional blocks that prevent forward momentum.


  2. Burnout: Ongoing stress without adequate recovery can lead to mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion. When you're burned out, even basic tasks can feel impossible.


  1. Low Self-Efficacy: If you don’t believe in your ability to succeed, you're more likely to give up or not try at all. This belief can be rooted in past failures, criticism, or trauma.


  1. Cognitive Distortions: Negative thinking patterns—like catastrophizing, black-and-white thinking, or overgeneralization—can trap us in cycles of self-doubt and fear.


  1. Disconnection from Values: When you're out of touch with what truly matters to you, it's easy to lose direction. Without a clear sense of purpose or internal motivation, movement becomes difficult.


Understanding these root causes is the first step to addressing them. Becoming aware of the psychological factors at play can help you apply the right tools and make meaningful progress.



The Psychology Behind Stuckness

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From a therapeutic lens, feeling stuck often stems from a disconnect between our current behaviour and our internal values. According to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), psychological flexibility—the ability to act in alignment with your values even in the face of discomfort—is key to well-being. When we feel stuck, it's often because we're avoiding discomfort or uncertainty, rather than leaning into what's meaningful.


Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) also highlights how distorted thinking patterns, such as all-or-nothing thinking or catastrophizing, can reinforce a sense of helplessness.



Step-by-Step: How to Get Unstuck

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1. Name What You’re Feeling

It may sound simple, but putting words to your emotional experience is a powerful first step. Are you bored, anxious, afraid, resentful, or uninspired? Naming emotions helps us begin to untangle them.


Tip: Use an emotion wheel to broaden your emotional vocabulary and uncover what lies beneath general feelings like "bad" or "stressed."


2. Identify the Source

Ask yourself: Where exactly do I feel stuck? Is it in a relationship, career, sense of identity, or motivation? Pinpointing the area helps direct your energy more effectively.


Prompt: Where in my life do I feel most stuck right now—emotionally, mentally, or situationally? Name it clearly—because clarity is the first step toward change.


3. Reflect on Your Values

What matters most to you? When we lose sight of our values, we lose our compass. Reconnecting with your values can reignite a sense of direction.


Prompt: When do you feel most energized, engaged, or proud of yourself? What were you doing? Who were you with?


4. Challenge Limiting Beliefs

Thoughts like "I can't change," "I'm not good enough," or "It's too late" often sit beneath our sense of paralysis. CBT encourages us to examine and reframe these beliefs.


Try This: For each limiting belief, write an alternative, compassionate truth. Example: "I can't change careers at my age" becomes "People of all ages make fulfilling career changes."


5. Break the Problem Down

If you're overwhelmed, try breaking big goals into smaller, manageable steps. This helps reduce anxiety and builds momentum.


Strategy: Use the cognitive strategy of “Chunking” to break down tasks into manageable pieces. Instead of asking, "How do I fix everything?" ask, "What's one small thing I can do today?"


6. Move Your Body

Research in somatic psychology shows that physical movement can help unstick mental and emotional states. Even a short walk can help shift your perspective.


Tip: Emotional stress and trauma can store themselves in the body (especially in the hips) without us realizing it. Practices such as yoga and stretching can help the body release 


7. Seek Connection

Stuckness often grows in isolation. Talking to a trusted friend or therapist can offer new insight, validation, and accountability.


If you’re needing caring, professional support that meets you where you’re at in your mental health journey, reach out to VMA Psych. We’re always here and happy to help.


Contact VMA Psych



Therapeutic Tools That Can Help

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  • Journaling: Helps externalize thoughts, clarify emotions, and track progress.

  • Mindfulness Meditation: Increases awareness and reduces reactivity.

  • Behavioural Activation: Involves scheduling positive, value-based activities to increase motivation and mood.

  • Art Therapy: For those who struggle to express themselves verbally, art can be a powerful outlet for accessing emotions and exploring inner blocks.



When to Seek Professional Help

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If you feel stuck for several weeks or months and it's interfering with your ability to function or feel joy, it might be time to reach out for professional support. Therapy can help you:


  • Understand the root causes of your stuckness

  • Learn new coping strategies

  • Rebuild self-esteem and self-efficacy

  • Set achievable goals and take action


At VMA Psych, we offer individual counselling, behavioural coaching, and assessments tailored to help you get back on track.



Book Recommendation: "The Mountain Is You" by Brianna Wiest


This book explores how self-sabotage often arises from unresolved trauma and offers deep, compassionate guidance on transforming your internal blocks into stepping stones for growth. Wiest blends psychological insight with poetic writing, making it both a healing and motivating read.


Why we recommend it: "The Mountain Is You" offers empowering strategies that align closely with the therapeutic principles we use at VMA Psych. It's a supportive companion on your journey to getting unstuck.



Final Thoughts: You Are Not Broken

Woman sitting cross-legged with a laptop in a bright room, corkboard and flowers in the background, looking focused and content.

Getting stuck is part of the human experience. It doesn’t mean you’re broken, lazy, or unmotivated. It simply means you're at a threshold. The discomfort you're feeling is often the first sign of a deeper need calling to be met.


With compassion, courage, and the right support, you can take steps toward change—even if they’re small ones. And over time, those small steps add up to real transformation.



Need Support? 

If you’re ready to take that next step, our team at VMA Psych is here to help. Book a consultation today and move toward a life that aligns with your values.


Schedule Your Appointment


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With 40+ years as Toronto's leading psychologists, we guide individuals through life's complexities, offering specialized services for a brighter future. 

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